Horns

I find myself on the horns of a dilemma these days.  One that most people would probably want to have.  I have a good job with good benefits, one I can do relatively easily.  Best of all its in an industry likely to be fairly recession proof.  I also have a potential job that would move me back toward my desired profession, would also have great benefits, and would also be largely recession proof.

So my dilemma is to stay at the good job I have or switch to the good job I could have.  Some dilemma, huh?

Switching represents change and upheaval and anxiety.  Not changing represents loss and maybe missed opportunity.  I don’t want to have to choose, I don’t want the luxury of being highly employable.  Maybe I’m just whining and complaining.  My lot in life is far better than a majority in my country, which is to say, better than most in the world.

I’m struggling with a choice that could have some far-reaching effects on me and my loved ones.  Meanwhile, in Chicago and soon in Washington D.C., a man my age is getting ready to assume choices and decisions that will impact the entire planet and every living being it contains.  To me, my impending decision is no less momentous that the choices facing him.  To the world, perhaps, my dilemma is insignificant.

I’m waiting for more information and hoping it makes the choice clear and easy.  Fearing that it may just muddy the waters more without providing me a definitive answer.

Languishing

Sometimes you think you’ll do something, and in the initial excitement many side projects get started, only to languish and fade as the primary activity fizzles and slowly dies.

This site is one such side project. Once upon a time it was just a place to play, away from my primary site. At that time I was using Moveable Type for my “big” site, and wanted a place to play with WordPress, if only a WordPress.com hosted sandbox.

When I attempted to restart martial arts I thought to myself, here’s an excellent use for my WordPress blog; I can have a blog focused solely on martial arts and my experiences there. Unfortunately I discovered I have some lower back issues that really won’t do well in the type of physical martial art I am drawn toward. Discretion in this case is having a healthy back for years to come, or not.

So zanshin.wordpress.com has languished, grown stale and disused. I like having the domain. or rather the sub-domain. I’m not sure there is a topic or interest that I express on my other site that I can carve out and transplant here. I am more interested in process and language these day than ever before. Perhaps I can make those postings here and have a content-focused blog.

No promises, though.

Lineage

There are almost as many styles of karate-do as there are people teaching the art. Lineage, the line back to the original source for your particular style, becomes very important then. It not only provides a basis for understanding subtle differences between styles, it also provides the authoritative source for answering questions of application or technique.

In my first incarnation as a karate-ka, my lineage went through four generations before arriving at one of the early giants in karate, Itosu. The dojo I have joined here has but three generations. Moreover, the head of the association was a direct student of the styles founder, Funakoshi Sensei.

I like that I’ve found a traditional dojo, rooted in a proud lineage. Imagine being able to study calculus with a student of Newton’s, or music from a student of Beethoven or Mozart. In the end the ultimate teacher is yourself, but having dedicated practitioners who have traveled the path before your (literally sensei) makes finding your path slightly easier.

Rank

When I stepped away from the physical aspects of karate-do almost nine years ago I held the rank of nidan or second degree black belt. The ryu or school I was a member of had ten dan levels, so I had completed the first and second step only. As my original Sensei put it, “getting your black belt is like getting a bachelor’s degree. Getting second degree black belt is equivalent to a masters. “

During the initial tour of the new dojo, and the mini-interview that went along with it, the dojo manager determined that I had formerly held nidan rank, and explained to me that this style of Shotokan only had five levels of black belt.

Going into my first workout I brought my black belt but wore a white belt on to the floor. Unless asked I wasn’t going to presume. This morning, in my second work out, after the senior instructor present observed my kihon and kata for a few minutes, he stopped me and said, “Wear your rank, you deserve it.” Needless to say this felt enormously good. I will have to learn the technical differences between what I knew before and Shotokan, and complete a nidan test in their system before I’ll hold rank in the Shotokan Karate of America association, but I will be granted stature within the school based on my former status.

Like falling off a bicycle, you never really forget how.

Thinking Body, Dancing Mind

Today I had my first karate workout in over a year, and only the second in more than seven years. In all honesty I haven’t actively pursued the martial arts since 1998. It felt good and strange at the same time to put a gi on again and workout. In the words of the instructor at the end of our 90 minutes, I “don’t have any rust for a guy who hasn’t worked out in that long.” It felt good that pieces of understand kept coming back from the depths of my memory.

A year ago, nearly 15 months now, I tried a different dojo with unsatisfactory results. I was very overweight at the time (250 +) and could hardly complete the warm up exercises with out collapsing. Embarrassed, more by my internal image and the tarnish covering it than anything else, I never went back. Over the summer I tried kendo, which wasn’t really my cup of tea. I also managed to pull a groin muscle, which has cascaded into chronic lower back pain. In all the years I did karate originally I never badly hurt myself. I missed the mental challenge of karate, and the mix of mini-disciplines contained within the broader scope of the art. Kendo was more contained and mental, and less broad in application.

Today’s workout was kihon and kata, followed by sanbon kumite or three-step sparring. It will take a while for my flexibility to return, and for the skin on my feet to toughen to the wooden floor once more. I’m sure that I’ll be sore in the morning. But I am very pleased to have picked up my gi and bowed onto the “mats” once again.

Today I was very aware that my mind and body have different memory sets of my prior knowledge. In my minds eye I can still see (and was able to re-see) many techniques. At times my body struggled to keep up. At other times my body knew the way and it my mind that raced to keep up. That the Shotokan style is different in subtle and sometimes not so subtle ways, only adds to the mental/physical challenge – how to mold my old muscle memory and neuro-pathways into this new style.

The next test will be getting up and going to the 7:00 am workout on Friday. The first one is free, the second one requires commitment.

Google Does Traffic

Open up a new tab (you are using a browser that supports tabs, aren’t you?) and go to Google Maps. Pick the biggest city near you and look to see if there is a “Traffic” button in the upper right navigation area. Google Maps now shows near real time traffic information.

Excellent.

Anticipation

I have long been a fan of the iCal application that comes as a part of Mac OS X. And increasingly I am a user of Google’s Calendar, so I am eagerly anticipating the release to open beta of SpanningSync’s new bi-directional synchronization service. Make a change to your iCal calendar? It’ll be reflected on Google shortly. Make a change to your Google Calendar, it’ll be picked up on iCal. SpanningSync’s blog has all the details, but the beta should be available any day now.

Last Day of the Month

I’m a big fan of Google Calendar. I find myself using it more and more. One of the things I like to track via it are my pay dates. My new job will pay me twice per month, on the 15th and the last day. Creating a repeating entry for the 15th is simple; the method for creating one for the last day of each month is not so obvious.

The repeat option in Google Calendar doesn’t provide much flexibility, and has no option for “end of month.” It does, however, provide for events that repeat annually. So I simply created twelve calendar entries, each set to repeat annually, for the last day of the months.

Offer

Seeing that my current engagement ends in just a few more days, and knowing that this date was coming for the last month, I have been actively searching for a new work situation. I am happy to report that the information technology market seems to be much more active than it was a year ago. The slump following the dot com bubble has well and truly come to an end.

I have had several phone screens, and been submitted numerous times to various requirements. I’ve even had a face to face interview, all of which, in light of the end-of-year holiday season, is an accomplishment of which I am proud. My current client is scrambling to find additional funding to extend the contract, but I fear the extension will come too late for me.

Receiving an offer is a wonderful event, especially before the end of the contract.  That such an offer puts me on the horns of a dilemma is uncomfortable, but there are worse situations to find ones self. Change is good, change is painful, change is the only constant in life. I am ready for change, I just need to find the grace to accept my good fortune.

Closed

As a consultant one is often at the whims of a capricious client. When that client is part of the federal government, capriciousness takes on new meanings. The recent death of President Ford has resulted in an “Official Day of Mourning” with all federal offices closed.

The extra day off is nice enough I suppose, especially coming on the heels of a three day weekend. However, trying to fit 32 hours of work into a now very short three-day work week will not be fun. Or easy.

Still, it beats a sharp stick in the eye.